I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
