Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
