Define "chronic" masturbator.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
