At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
