Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize