the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
