I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is the high leading the old right now
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
BRING THE BAGELS
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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