he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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