Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
