My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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