How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
