why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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