all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
