I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
