Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
