I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
