FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
