i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
