i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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