I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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