WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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