I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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