but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
