i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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