Christians are straight up FREAKS
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
