Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize