Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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