so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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