Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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