I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
