My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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