so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
