You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
