If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
