I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
