its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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