Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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