so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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