I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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