So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All the doctor said was why
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
