I look better un-naked...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
