So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My dad is sitting where you rode me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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