Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Randomize
