then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
