I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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