Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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  (708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt
  Replies (4) Good night (840) Bad night (2020)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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  (561): I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone. http://tfl.nu/li7n
  Replies (10) Good night (2371) Bad night (577)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

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  (256): I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light. http://tfl.nu/687c
  Replies (21) Good night (902) Bad night (3694)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21526) Bad night (1544)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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  (731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e
  Replies (17) Good night (4396) Bad night (2065)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down

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  (303): We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down http://tfl.nu/easv
  Replies (12) Good night (4384) Bad night (947)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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  (660): I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night. http://tfl.nu/myre
  Replies (3) Good night (3034) Bad night (1239)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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  (317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s
  Replies (4) Good night (3083) Bad night (694)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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  (610): Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos? http://tfl.nu/shbv
  Replies (5) Good night (1110) Bad night (680)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1231) Bad night (671)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.

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  (540): I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end. http://tfl.nu/cc0x
  Replies (4) Good night (1286) Bad night (362)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.

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  (570): The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better. http://tfl.nu/cik5
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (297)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0

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  (252): Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0 http://tfl.nu/k7y9
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (283)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No this is saxophone Chris

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  (804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2
  Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (365)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?

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  (770): i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today? http://tfl.nu/3ln3
  Replies (1) Good night (45) Bad night (44)

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