Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

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  (512): If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch. http://tfl.nu/hocy
  Replies (39) Good night (1077) Bad night (1820)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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  (727): but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something http://tfl.nu/beva
  Replies (14) Good night (821) Bad night (2370)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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  (313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc
  Replies (18) Good night (962) Bad night (4584)
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  (831): View more from California

  I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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  (831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp
  Replies (18) Good night (2757) Bad night (2040)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...

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  (513): I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten... http://tfl.nu/iblb
  Replies (50) Good night (3216) Bad night (5817)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

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  (614): you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink. http://tfl.nu/tx6g
  Replies (24) Good night (9387) Bad night (1124)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2584) Bad night (12550)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth

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  (+44): I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth http://tfl.nu/v9jy
  Replies (10) Good night (1486) Bad night (1024)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2591) Bad night (852)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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  (724): I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star.. http://tfl.nu/hv80
  Replies (9) Good night (2178) Bad night (686)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.

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  (816): Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/x2rq
  Replies (8) Good night (562) Bad night (1362)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.

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  (412): I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing. http://tfl.nu/guzu
  Replies (11) Good night (537) Bad night (825)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU

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  (816): If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU http://tfl.nu/815m
  Replies (2) Good night (1658) Bad night (497)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

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  (978): OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING http://tfl.nu/ds3l
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (375)
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  (212): View more from New York

  We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.

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  (212): We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere. http://tfl.nu/afoi
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (427)

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