It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize