I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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