so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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