yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
