Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
