If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
