I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
