From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
