Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
