You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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