she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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