We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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